Angelus Dixit

December 3, 2014 by  
Filed under Catholic Apologetics, Spirituality

[Note to our readers: This is a very unusual piece of writing. If you find it hard to understand, don’t worry because we do too. We are posting it just in case you can get something from it. We are going to post a commentary eventually which will explain it piece by piece to the best of our understanding.]

When you hear God and say something back to God, then you have something to say to the world. If you make the people the focus, the people die. If you make the task the focus, you kill the task and the people.

We get the opposite of what we want until we are all gift.

You are always paying the price for some illegitimate relational stance. I don’t want you to pay the price, and I don’t want to pay the price. If I stop my stance, I am suddenly weighed down to the point I can’t function. I don’t let others help me; I don’t want to bother them. They have enough crap of their own, and they don’t need mine on top of it. Therefore, I end up carrying all of mine, and they end up carrying all of theirs, too. No one should carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. We must console one another.

Two kinds: We either share our cross, or we hide under it. In sharing, we are crushed and are crushers. In hiding, we also crush and are crushed. As we are being crushed, we steal what we can. We cannot afford to give because all of our strength and all of our mind is devoted to living under the crush and managing the fall.

Love the outcome, ignore God. This is against the Commandment. All of the outcomes are bad. All of the outcomes are unworthy of us. All is, at best, a great zero. It is the worship of nothingness, and its prayer is the wish (like Judas wished of himself) that we had never been born. We see that all that we have done has only hurt people, and that all of our methods have turned to disaster.

All that we have done for unity has resulted in grave and pernicious conflicts.

We are hemmed in on all sides. Those closest to us from whom we previously drew (note that I say ‘drew’) our support are now those who offer the worst poison as if in a conspiracy of demonic origin.

We, who were once full of hope, become loathe to even try. Why play a game we cannot win? Why play a game to lose or to tie, when the playing (to be done well) requires that we give all? And so we don’t give all, and we see everyone begin to suffer around us.

And as they suffer, we cannot see them.

We cannot see them even with them screaming in our faces and pointing to their mortal wounds in effort to reach us. They say, “If only he touches me, I will be healed”. And we will not reach out and touch them, because the touch, for us, is to sign onto the game of tying or losing.

To sit down to dine at the table of my enemy – it is a meal where I do not have the upper hand, and therefore there is no nourishment whatsoever; all that is nourishment is poison.

Indeed, my wounds – though weeping – are nothing compared to the destruction wrought by such a meal. All pain is secondary to this definitive evil worse than the death of my closest friend. Indeed, we would ignore our beloved as he writhed in agony rather than to sit at this table of the enemy.

We carry the weight of the world. If we ask for the help of another, they flee. If we don’t ask for their help for fear of burdening them, we find that they are all crushed and dead by the weight nonetheless, and they know whose weight it is. What, then, is the remedy? We must neither share the cross nor be crushed beneath it alone. Rather, we must console one another. Nobody should carry the weight of the world on their shoulders.

If I will it, I will see your cross.

My action, then, is to forsake my own cross to take up yours.

In forsaking my own cross I carry the cross that is truly mine, for I am my brother’s keeper.

And in this, I carry the cross with Christ. He is my strength, and I can be generous as he is generous.

My brother is then greeted by his Savior, and he recognizes him. He receives the good news before words are spoken. He sees that he is not alone, that there is hope, that there is a God because God is with him and for him, and there is no other worthy of him. He comes to your God, because this is the only God worth coming to. He knows it. No other has come to him, and no other can come to him. It is because only the one who is with him and for him exists, and only the one who exists is with him and for him.

The power of God is such that it is enough. It is enough for God to defend his own interests. It is enough for God to defend our interests.  It is enough for God to defend our neighbor’s interests. In giving of myself, the thing which is not in my surplus, the thing which I cannot afford to give (if I believe in the system of demand and defense), is the thing which in giving I receive all, and in dying I am born to eternal life. In giving of this thing, this pearl or widow’s mite, I have done all. I have lived all ways, I have hoped all things and believed all things.

In preserving my life, I have my life stolen from me by the thief. He has access to come and go as he pleases, though I am ever vigilant. I cannot guard well, though my life is the highest treasure.

If I will it, I will see your cross.

And in seeing yours, you will see mine.

For no one who sees is not himself seen.

No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known.

But, he said, “you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.”

So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”

Moses said, “Now show me your glory.”

But, he said, “you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.”

Jacob was wounded because he wrestled a shadow. Had he seen God, he would have died. He struggled with “God + man”. He did not see either God or man. To see one is to see the other, and to see either is to die.

 Wrestling with God and man is to see neither face to face. We see only dimly.

To wrestle with either is to see God and to die.

But the death will not be death.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not from you; IT IS THE GIFT OF GOD; it is not from works, so no one may boast.”(Ephesians 2:8-9)


We have bad news and we have good news. The “bad” news is [what many consider to be] Christianity (and that includes what many Catholics believe) is sick unto death. In 200 years there won’t be such a thing. We know it because it is ugly and evil, and people don’t like things that are ugly and evil unless they are threatened. Have you found that a God sending you to hell for having the wrong information is becoming less credible than ever? That’s because it is. People are not taking it seriously because it is stupid. When people make big mistakes, there can be a ripple that lasts a while and causes irrational drum beating for a time. But, eventually, thinking people just learn to do something else. Slavery? No thanks.

When we try to console ourselves, we bring a curse upon ourselves. Self-consolation is like self-glorification. If you need it, that’s why you can’t make it.

The curse is such that it is non-verbal, but then becomes verbal. It is not a matter of explicit policy at the start. In fact, it starts as the opposite of explicit policy. It starts as a will to live though we are in a world of death. It is that we have tasted death, and we want to live and not die. A sinner is someone who has tasted death and wants revenge – the kind of revenge that vindicates life – the kind of life that is a space for innocence to go unmolested by tyranny, and for freedom to be free rather than earned by the few.

Out of the fullness of our heart does our mouth speak. And after the heart of self-consolation arrives at its fullness, it begins to overflow. It does not speak comfort, but disaster. It cannot hold onto the comfort, though it has made comfort its aim. The comfort is ever evanescing and what accumulates is filth. And this filth, when it has come to the brim, becomes the thing we have to offer others. Or, rather, what we force them to experience.

We curse (speak evil) to their good. We tear down their hope. The devil comes to kill, steal, and destroy. We are driven to do the work that he otherwise could not reach for want of hands. We sever the hands of the innocent and destroy things beautiful because they are beautiful and we are not. Our hands are tied, and so theirs are to be severed. Better to have none than have them tied.

We are against evil, yet we do the evil we hate.

We do worse than what was done to us in an effort to do right by those we love. We don’t want them to suffer the way we did. We tasted death, and we resolved “never again”. My father cursed me. I will, therefore, praise my children. But my praise is dishonest. It is not for them, but for me. It is for me in that it is a revenge against the evil done to me. I heard evil, and so I make mine unable to hear good.

Encouragement becomes poison, “leave me alone” becomes relationship, and marriage becomes convenience.


It is possibly an axiom of life that we are never in a position to evaluate our own gift.

Why are those around you sick and dying? When we take a side we mock the crucified Christ on the other side. We say they have no gift for us.

It’s hard when we hurt someone. We say “sorry” and are forgiven. But forgiveness is not enough. We were not meant to be forgiven any more than we are meant to sin. We were made for justice, and our justice causes us to apologize again and again, driving the person we’ve offended crazy, or we strive to make up for the lack. We act from deficit, and this is not gift.

We have an outcome-based model of living for ourselves. This is contrary to love. We have an outcome-based model of living for others. This is called “demand”. It contracepts gift in others before it is conceived. And if it makes it that far, it aborts their gift.

Is fear our Lord or is love? They can seem the same, formally. Their substance is totally different. The difference is gift vs. extortion – a protection racket (everything you know is wrong – satanic even).  We have no fear because our deeds are done in God. They are done in the light. We walk during the day, and we do not stumble. We see that what we have done became done in him. It was necessary that it be so until we know how to walk on water.

We are his children now. What we will be has yet to be revealed. Where I am going, you cannot come. Your ego cannot come. Lies cannot come. Defenses cannot come. Status cannot come. On that day, you will have no questions and nobody will be able to take your joy from you. That is not because you have made them unimportant, and you self-sufficient, but because all their deeds are done in God whether they see it or not. Indeed, our enemy brings us the body of Christ, and there we see that there is only Christ. They have no need for lamp or sun because the Lamb is their light.

As it is, we virgins think our Lamp is not only enough, but we are so sure of it that we have not spent the reserve to buy all the oil we possibly can. After all, we are expected, so why do we need to give all…“why the extra miles”? We already got mugged and lost one of our coats, no need to give the shirt off our back in order to go to this wedding. After all, this one is my best, and one can’t go to a wedding Naked. Little do we know that the garments are there for us, and we will have to divest ourselves of our best in order to take his gift to us. If we do not, then we are totally out of line.

We have to be made well or else we are unwell. It is not a problem otherwise.

A selfish person is someone who has decided that they are happy exactly as they are. They, therefore, cannot afford to lose, but also cannot afford to gain. They will be afflicted by the good news which sets the captives free and brings sight to the blind. They will be envious of the good of others, but will not lay hold of this good, because to do so first necessitates empty hands. Empty hands do not have the upper hand, and they have no weapon to achieve it. “How shall we fight against evil”, they ask?

How shall we fight for the faith? Surely the atheist is not to win. Surely we must not give too much ground? Yes, our arguments have problems. Yes, theirs have merit. They are scary (both), but what else have we? We cannot give up what we have until we have something better in return. “It is not safe. And we are trying to serve them.” We cannot give up what we have until we have something better in return. “If we do, then they will laugh at us and say ‘victory’.” We cannot give up what we have until we have something better in return. “The best minds have come thus far, and nobody has answered the arguments of atheists in a way that atheists can benefit from.”

How many have you or your ministry brought to the Lord? You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. We say, you can’t even lead him. If you try, it’s because you’re looking for a ride. You want to “take a load off yourself”. Of course, you can lead a horse to water, and chances are (if he’s thirsty) he will drink. Mission accomplished. People, though are different. You take the load from their back, and they follow you. It happens by necessity. They follow up until the point it becomes too difficult. They must choose to either go and die with you or to find fault and accuse you of their very sin in order to have an excuse to save their own lives.

“So Thomas, called Didymus, – said to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go to die with him.”

Maybe some will wait, and stand in the shadows plotting how to save you. They will, in fact, be instrumental in your crucifixion. No matter. If you love them, your life is not taken from you. You cannot be robbed, but have decided to lay it down freely as gift for their sake.

Whose burden are you carrying, and with reference to whom are you taking the lowest place? This was a question asked by Fr. Benedict Groeschel. He made a “mistake” in his dotage, and his network summarily removed all his recordings – over 500 talks. That network is… [we’ve censored this part, but will sum it up by saying that they should return the talks.]

If they are not for us, they are against us. If they are not against us, they are for us. Seems confused and confusing. What it means, though, is that they will be one or the other. They will be against you such that there is an abyss in between and nobody can go from their side to yours or from your side to theirs.

Those who were with us may not be. Though they saw our works, and though they received forgiveness for their offenses against us, they would rather carry all those offenses again than let us touch them or to ever even hear even one word of ours. They would sooner stop their ears and murder us.

Where the Holy Spirit is, there is no debate.

Apologetics activity is about holding our ground and feeling like we are better informed than we are. It isn’t about changing hearts, but is about neutralizing a threat. The threat is the other guy. We are licensed in leaving him bloody and broken on the roadside because we didn’t beat him up, and if we did we repented already (he has to get over it). And because we are only telling the truth. We must tell the truth.

But truth is a person. And what if our enemies are the one to see that person and care for him? What if the atheists love those whom we’ve thrown aside? Are they not “Good Samaritans”? Perhaps, like the Canaanite woman, we will have to start barking.

“It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs.” She fell at his feet…

“From that place he went off to the district of Tyre. He entered a house and wanted no one to know about it, but he could not escape notice. Soon a woman whose daughter had an unclean spirit heard about him. She came and fell at his feet. The woman was a Greek, a Syrophoenician by birth, and she begged him to drive the demon out of her daughter. He said to her, ‘Let the children be fed first. For it is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs.’ She replied and said to him, ‘Lord, even the dogs under the table eat the children’s scraps.’ Then he said to her, ‘For saying this, you may go. The demon has gone out of your daughter.’ When the woman went home, she found the child lying in bed and the demon gone.”

Whatever you ask I will do. We have to ditch the us vs them attitude.

Jesus wasn’t calling her a dog. He was calling her to renounce the generational hate between her group and the other dogs on the outside. According to Jesus, there are no dogs, but people are people. And if you are having strippers at your party, he won’t come to gawk, but he will come to talk. And, no it doesn’t matter what people say about that. And it won’t be to preach, but it would be about whatever it is you wanted to talk about. After all, you invited him.

Whatsoever you ask in my name, I will do whatever it is you ask of me.

What does it mean to ask in his name? It means to take the lowest place. And you can’t get there from willing it. The lowest place is to eat at the table of your enemy. To sit down to dine at the table of my enemy.

It is a meal where I do not have the upper hand, and therefore there is no nourishment whatsoever. It is when we have done that, then it is the case that we ask in his name, and he will do whatever we ask. It’s true.

We have the Lazarus principle. Which Lazarus? Both. And the Mary principle. All three. Weeping at his feet because of her sins, vs weeping at his feet because he paid for her grace. They are actually identical. Him paying for your sins means you don’t have any. You only have the consequences, and what’s worse than watching your son being tortured and saying yes to God? She is not higher than you in that “works” way. Great crowds came to him, having with them the lame, the blind, the deformed, the mute, and many others. They placed them at his feet, and he cured them. The crowds were amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the deformed made whole, the lame walking, and the blind able to see, and they glorified the God of Israel.